do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
