we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
