I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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