Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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