I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
