it was like his penis was on wheels.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
