I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
How external is "for external use only"?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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