Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
