HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
