ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
