One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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