...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize