my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
