I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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