New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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