soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
