you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
