He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
