Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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