Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
