we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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