her vagine was all disorganized.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
