i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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