I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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