I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
