this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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