An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
