I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
