Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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