My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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