Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
