i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Your penis caused this!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
