margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
