Hey man sorry I got all grabby
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
