I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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