just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just had sex bonerless
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
