Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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