Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
