How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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