i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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