he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
