I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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