it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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