Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
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