I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
