No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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