There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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