I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
