forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
this boner is exhausting
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
