what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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