Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
another moral hangover. fuck.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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