I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I didn't notice because vodka
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
