I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
